This is a Guest Post by Beth Pratt of It’s a WAHM Thing 
It’s hard to work at home when you have a spouse who doesn’t support what you’re doing. In fact, being at odds over something so vital to home life can have a disruptive effect on a relationship. If you are absolutely determined to work at home, whether because you want to be with your kids or because you feel for certain that there is an opportunity for future wealth in what you’re doing, you’ll have to find a way to appease your spouse.
To figure out how to deal with an unsupportive spouse, we have to understand why he (or she) would be unsupportive to begin with:
- Jealousy: You’re at home, maybe with the kids, while he spends the day fighting traffic, a boss, and co-workers he might not like. You don’t even have to get up early in the morning!
- Fear: Because your income may not be as steady as with a traditional job, you might not be able to do your part to keep your end of the financial see-saw up. He may be stressed that you won’t bring in enough money, or resentful that he’ll have to pick up the slack should you fail.
- Misconception: He might think you’re a victim of a scam. Let’s face it, work-at-home jobs have a shady history. Think of all of the advertisements out there preying on people who want freedom from the traditional job. Envelope stuffing, Multi-level Marketing schemes, and others have been cheating folks out of their money and freedom for decades.
- Mistrust: There are many levels of trust in a relationship, and anything to do with finances is going to bring that up to the forefront. Is it you your spouse doesn’t trust, or do he not trust that you’ll actually work? One kind of mistrust is easier to handle than another.
Now that we have an idea of why a spouse might become unsupportive of your new work-at-home career, we can begin to consider solutions to the problems.
If your spouse is jealous that you found a work-at-home job, it shows that he would choose the same thing for himself, you just got to it before him.
In this case, give him a reason to help you out. Point out to him that the faster you can build yourself and your business up, the faster he can leave his old nine-to-five existence behind. If he’s the kind of guy that would never feel comfortable with the unpredictability of working at home, ask him to talk with his boss about arranging a telecommuting position. Many companies are offering the option for their workers to work from home a day or two each week.
Fear is a big reason spouses refuse to support a work-at-home venture.
Fear of losing what you have built up, fear of getting behind on bills…there’s nothing wrong with that either. You should have already discussed the financial implications of a work-at-home career before quitting your job, and hopefully you had the foresight to save some money to provide a cushion while building your career up.
If not, you put yourself in a stressful situation. What can you do to ease your spouse’s fear? Offer to get a part-time job, or offer to pay one household bill each month, with the stipulation that if you can’t pay it, you’ll return to the workforce.
If your spouse believes that you’re being scammed, he isn’t likely to support what you’re doing.
This has more to do with his attempt to protect you from being victimized. To put him at ease, you’ll have to prove that your job is legitimate. Visit a respected website like this one, which can help you determine if your work-at-home job is a scam or a legitimate position. You might be surprised.
Does your spouse not trust you to work at home?
If so, you’ll need to handle the problem quickly, because it has nothing to do with your job. If your spouse doesn’t trust you to have that much control, is there a reason? If there isn’t a reason, you’ll have to sit down and talk it out. If you can’t resolve the trust issues, counseling may be required.
If he doesn’t trust that you’ll work, why is that? Are you an Internet hog? If so, you’ll have to make a schedule and stick to it or face the possibility that you may have to return to a more structured environment.
With a little bit of negotiation, you should be able to weather your spouse’s unsupportive attitude, eventually bringing him (or her!) to accept your position. In time, you might even convince him that you’re saving him money working at home.
Beth Pratt is a work at home mom and editor for Its a WAHM Thing, a blog covering all aspects of balancing your home-based career and raising a family. Beth is the proud mother of two boisterous boys: Theakston aged 5 and Alwyn aged 2.
