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This is a continuation of the cross blog conversation I’m having with my peep Nicole.
She asks me: What do you do to stay positive? I know your faith is a huge part of your life, and you talked about that a bit in one other question. So, tell me how that helps you in your business.
Nicole, my faith IS my life. I’m not religious and don’t always talk and look like the picture perfect vision of a proper Christian woman - but thank goodness that isn’t what God asks of me.
I stay positive by choice and by necessity.
I used to be terribly negative. Habitually negative! My life stunk so bad from such an early age. So many people let me down again and again that I reached a point in my early twenties where I decided to stop hoping for anything good so that I wouldn’t be disappointed.
I complained all the time because there was always so much to complain about!
But then a friend pointed out to me that complaining doesn’t change anything. In fact, complaining KEEPS you from taking the actions you could be taking because it’s emotionally draining.
Even worse, complaining brings other people down. You know, misery loves company.
My friend told me that I had a choice in how I responded to my life and she challenged me to just keep my mouth shut the next time I felt like complaining and being negative.
And do you know what? I did - and it was painful as all get out! It literally hurt me to swallow down the whining and complaining. I wanted to fuss and bother about things! I wanted to tell my story over and over to whoever would listen - but I didn’t. I just shut my mouth and purposed to place my attention elsewhere.
Over time I was able to ditch the constant negativity and aim my energy at making positive changes so that I would have less to complain about in the future. When I face overwhelming situations today - I don’t complain, I pray. I turn my problems over to God and wait for His direction on next steps.
Well, Nicole, you’re my friend - and you know that I do SOMETIMES lose it and complain about something… but thankfully you’re quick to offer needed comfort and then tell me to Snap Out Of It! LOL!
Now for the second part of your question… how does positivity help my business?
I purpose to be positive and pro-active and this keeps my business growing. I don’t let small failures keep me down. I make decisions based on what I’ve learned from my mistakes.
Author and Speaker John Maxwell calls that Failing Forward
and wrote a book by the same name that anyone who struggles with mistakes and failures should read.
Thanks for a GREAT question Nicole!! Now for a good one to shoot back at you…
I ask you: Will you be slowing down for the holiday season as far as the number of hours you put in each week?
I look forward to your next note!
Smooch, Kelly
Blog reader… I feel like I have to add an addendum my note to Nicole and say that choosing to not complain as a habit does not mean that you never go to a friend to vent when you have a problem. The key for me is that I don’t allow myself to vent about the same topic or situation over and over again. When something new comes up or I feel pushed beyond my limits, I DO feel free to spill my guts and ask for support
So… how do you work at staying positive?











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Annette 11.15.07 at 8:53 am
This is a great post Kelly. I think it takes WORK to stay positive - consistently. It’s easy to slip into old habits after a while and not ever realize it. I’m thankful when God gives me a swift kick in the rear end and says, “stop it!”. And I think sometimes He uses those things to help us say “hmmm, maybe I need to move on to something different” if we continue to be negative about it.
Love being a fly on the wall..
A
Arika 11.16.07 at 6:17 am
Great post Kelly! It is harder to stay positive than it is to be negative in life. I too struggle with being negative, but by putting my faith in God I’ve come a long way baby and I’m so glad you have too because without my Kelly I don’t know what I’d do.
Proverbs 31 is a great example of a woman staying positive. The more I read it the more I get it. The first time I read about the woman in those versus’ I was so jealous and honestly didn’t like her, but as I learn to be more positive I quite admire that woman now. Amazing how a positive outlook can make you see things so different in life.
Kelly 11.16.07 at 9:27 am
It does take work Annette - and it’s sometimes really hard to choose positivity when things are going badly… but why let circumstances rule your life, right?
Arika, thank you! Your comment blessed me this morning